Wednesday, March 29, 2017

"Two Zen Tuesday"

“Trust Your Zen”
(Published previously on Rusty’s Blog, Aug 28, 2015. 
Extensively reedited.)

“Trust yourself,” my zen said to me.

“Huh?” I answered.
(For I don’t always catch
What my zen says

The first time around.)

“Trust yourself,” my zen repeated.

“Everything you need 
Is right inside you
This very minute.”

“Everything?” I answered. 
“That sounds like a lot.
Are you sure?”

(You see, I was afraid of trusting 
Just myself alone.
For whom would I blame

If I failed?)

“Trust yourself,” 
My zen repeated
With some exasperation.

“I’d rather trust you,” 
I answered.

“Same thing, dummy,” 
Replied my zen.

“Zen and Anger and the Lost Wristwatch” 

I remember my first wristwatch.

It was given to me by my father
For doing well in school.
I was probably eight or nine.

I couldn’t have been any older,
Because I stopped doing well at school
The year my mother died.

And she died when I was ten.

It was a bit Mickey Mouse,
That wristwatch.
But it told good time.

Until I lost it.

I took it off in the restroom at school
To wash my hands
And accidentally left it on the sink.

Realizing a moment later,
When I returned to the sink…
It was gone!

It saddened me to think
A fellow schoolmate
Would take it.

It angered my father 
That I lost something valuable.

He said I should learn 
To look after my things better.
“Maybe this’ll teach you,” he added.

But I couldn’t see it his way,
And felt no remorse for the loss.
After all, I didn’t do it on purpose.

My dad remained angry, though,
Which hurt my little heart.
You see, I wasn’t old enough

To understand that his anger
Wasn’t about me 
Or some stupid wristwatch.

It was about the death of my mother,
And the regrets my father bore
Deep in his heart.

He was angry with himself.

That’s why I get angry, usually.
I’m angry at myself.
Perhaps, sometimes, you are the same?

After all, nobody’s perfect!

Listen to me, please.
I think this is important.
Anger is a waste of good zen!

Which even though free and everywhere,
(As I’ve said many times)
Mustn’t be wasted.

And who gives a crap,
If you’ll pardon the expression,
About material things?

My zen reminds me every day;
‘The yearning for possessions
Can only lead to unhappiness.’

Ah, my zen!
Thank you for your loving wisdom!
Thank you for your humanity!

And thank you for helping me 
See a way
To avoid going crazy
In a world
I cannot control…

But must not fear.

That last couple of paragraphs
Sounded pretty wise.
Looks like dad was right, after all.
I did learn something.

Ha! Ha! 
I wonder whatever happened 
To that Mickey Mouse watch?

It’s probably somewhere now, 
Still telling the time,
Quietly ticking.

Ticking away the time…


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