"How Big Is Your Zen?"

(66)

“Interconnected”

Water, rock, plant.

You, me, all.

Past, present, future…

Interconnected!

(82)

“Marriage Zen” 

Boy! It’s hard to be married sometimes!

I suppose I’m not the first person 

To have thought that thought, am I?

Not by a long shot, eh?

I’m positive my wife

Has thought it more than once.

I can’t blame her.

Being married to me isn’t easy!

But being a zen man,

I try to understand

That life is full of suffering

For human beings.

(And all other creatures too, 

But I’m just talking about 

Married creatures now.)

Yes, we all must suffer!

Especially it seems 

For the sake of love.

But if she were listening,

Instead of giving me a beautiful example

Of The Silent Treatment,

And I were speaking,

Instead of hiding in my office

Typing on a keyboard,

I would want to say

To my life-partner;

I Love You.

Are you listening,

Dear wife?

I’ll say it again.

From my heart to yours.

I love you.

Whatever we’re fighting about today

Won’t be important 

A thousand years from now.

I guarantee it.

Only the love we shared

Will be important.

Come, hold my hand

As we journey together 

Toward infinity.

Love

(And zen)

Will show us the way.

(84)

“How Big?”

“How big is your zen?”

A student once asked me.

“That’s an easy one,” I answered.

“My zen is very… er, big.

Or rather say it’s everywhere all around.

Or maybe never-ending is a better term for it.

All encompassing?

Hmmm.

I’m finding it a little 

Difficult to describe,” I admitted.

I was a little embarrassed

And wanted to change the subject.

So I added, “That’s zen for you!”

And shrugged my shoulders.

The students laughed,

And my ignorance 

Went undiscovered

For another day.

Zen!

Are You Getting Enough Zen?

Are You Getting Enough Zen?

Excuse me.

I hate to interrupt.

I see you’re busy.

Living life sometimes takes all we’ve got, doesn’t it?

Looks like that’s the case with you right now.

You seem to be coping well.

And that’s all we can hope to do.

Cope well.

But I have a question.

Because I love you.

(Although I know that gives me no special privileges,

This love of mine.)

My question is this:

Are you getting enough zen?

Because zen is important.

I could lend you some if you’re short.

I’ve been doing well lately 

And currently I’ve got plenty.

Not bragging.

Just saying.

Wouldn’t want to piss my zen off by bragging.

You see, my zen does all the work

And I take all the credit.

Remember as you cope 

That zen works that way for you too.

For me and you both.

That’s the beauty of it!

Zen and the Big Bang

My zen rushes out,

Like everything else,

From the big bang when they say things began.

Rushing out into the universe.

A universe that is ever expanding

And has no end.

Big stuff!

My zen was there at the beginning.

And it will be there in the …

Oh, that’s right.

There is no end.

But my zen will still be there,

(Wherever that is)

Nourishing me.

For the essence of me will still exist and require nourishing.

No matter how far the universe expands.

In the meantime

It’s hard to know where I fit

Into all this rushing vastness.

I feel so small and inconsequential.

Hmmm.

So what!

As long as I’m along for the ride,

Rushing into infinity with my zen, 

What should I care?

Arthur’s Zen

When I was a lad.

It seems a thousand centuries ago,

But really it was 1969.

(Although with zen as strong as mine,

I’m not denying the possibility that it could have been a thousand centuries ago

And still be 1969.)

Anyway, when I was a lad

I began my working life

At the bottom of a road construction ditch.

I shoveled the shit that had accumulated there,

From the bottom of the ditch to the top.

Our gang boss was named Arthur.

He was feared by all,

For he could be a violent man

When he wanted something

Or thought he had been wronged.

Which seemed to be often.

It was only years later,

When the concept of zen became more clear to me,

That I realized what a great zen master Arthur was.

He was indifferent to everything.

Hot or cold didn’t matter.

Good or bad didn’t matter.

You or me didn’t matter.

Nothing mattered.

As long as he got his way.

Of course Arthur didn’t realize he was instructing me.

Giving me, for my pains,

Of which he himself caused a few

With a cuff to the ear at the bottom of a shitty ditch

All those years ago,

A lesson in life.

Yes, he didn’t realize he was giving me

An insight into the way things are.

Which is what zen is after all.

He’s been dead a long time,

Arthur has.

I wonder where he is now?

I probably never said thank you

For all the knowledge he gave me.

So from the year 2015,

Arthur,

Wherever you are, 

I thank you!

How Much Zen Is There in a Raindrop?

How Much Zen Is There in a Raindrop?

How much zen is there in a raindrop?

Asked one of my students.

(For I’ve collected a few

From time to time

As I’ve gone along.)

Well? he insisted.

How much?

He’s an insistent little so-and-so,

I’ll say that much for him.

But his zen is pure.

He avoids pornography and doesn’t drink to excess.

He has other good qualities too, of course.

Those just happened to come to mind.

“Hmmm,” I answered.

“Let me think about it.”

So I thought about it.

Every day the insistent student would come round 

And ask about the raindrop.

Come back tomorrow, I always said.

Rain or shine, every day he came.

After a few months he stopped coming every day.

Instead he came every couple of days,

Asking about the raindrop.

Then once a week came he.

Once a fortnight.

Once a month.

His visits became irregular and widely spaced in time.

Then he stopped coming altogether.

He sent me a letter.

(He’d moved out of state.)

How much raindrop zen is there?

Asked he in this letter.

I answered asking for more time to consider.

And so we exchanged letters.

We corresponded thus for a few years.

Exchanging news, sharing our lives.

He got married, started a family, bought a Prius.

Finally, the insistent student, 

After nearly five years of waiting for my answer,

Has given up.

He isn’t so insistent anymore.

His most recent letter did not mention the raindrop.

It spoke of his love for his family and his goals for the future.

How his twin daughters are growing up so quickly!

The family dog had had an operation, too.

But Fido was doing fine now.

It was a good letter,

Written from the heart,

And filled with zen.

Everything is good, he wrote, 

Adding in his final paragraph,

I can’t complain.

Aha, I thought, 

There’s the zen of it!

He was a good student, but

Boy, did he have to learn the hard way!

Live as Your Zen Commands

Life is painful.

On that we all agree

No one made it that way on purpose.

That’s just the way it is.

Full of pain and frustration.

One of the reasons it is painful

Is because we desire too much.

And our desires being unfulfilled we feel pain.

You see?

Simple.

You want it.

You cannot have it.

You are disappointed.

Disappointment hurts.

That’s the zen of it!

So give up your desires!

Don’t be a slave to your longings!

Quit wanting stuff!

We’re destroying our planet with our Narcissistic materialism anyway

And, let’s face it, our greed.

For how much crap does one person need?

When others are doing without?

Or going hungry?

I have an idea.

Maybe we could try living as our zen commands.

Living the way we know to be right.

With kindness towards ourselves and others.

And a calm understanding that sees us through.

Let’s remember that life is crazy!

So don’t worry too much about it.

Laugh at it!

Laugh good and hard. 

And try living with less consumerism.

Because it’s destroying our humanity and our environment. 

Finally, cope as best as you can

With the vicissitudes of this life.

For it won’t last forever.

I didn’t say it would be easy.

It’s not an easy thing to be a zen man.

Or a zen woman.

Millions and millions of us are attempting it.

But believe me.

It’s worth it.

When you now and then succeed.

Five Zen Monday

Fresh Zen

My zen is fresh today.

There’s nothing wrong with yesterday’s zen.

It’s still good.

But that was yesterday.

This is today.

Zen is like food.

You need it everyday.

Even if today you are sated,

And everything’s just ducky,

There is still tomorrow.

That’s the beauty of it!

One needs fresh zen everyday

To nourish you for life’s journey.

See you tomorrow.

The Zen of Crows

A murder of crows landed in the large oak tree 

That overhangs my home.

That’s what you call a gathering of these large black birds.

A murder.

Who thought up that name, I wonder?

It is very zen!

Anyway, from beneath the tree 

I watched and listened,

While I drank some tea.

The crows were very noisy and active.

I might even call it confused or chaotic.

They seemed to be without zen.

I put down my tea,

And I clapped my hands 

As I arose from my seat shouting.

“Where’s your zen?” I shouted.

The crows took flight

And circled overhead. 

Then as if by mutual consent

As one they flew away to the north

Making a beautiful pattern against the clear blue sky.

“Aha,” I said to myself.

“There’s the zen.”

Underwater Zen

I went swimming in the rain today.

Not something one usually does in Florida.

Usually when it rains in Florida,

It pours!

With plenty of lightning too.

Hence no swimming in the rain.

But today was different.

Maybe it’s global warming,

But today it rained with no lightning.

The pool looked inviting,

So in I went!

But before that I stripped down

And I stood in the rain

Getting wet.

Enjoying the experience.

Naked in the rain.

“You could stand to lose a few pounds,” said my zen.

“Really?” I answered.

Screw you 

I thought.

Then I jumped in.

Underwater in the pool

I could hear the rain pattering

Above me at the water’s surface.

As I held my breath

I could hear my blood in my ears,

Pounding through my veins.

But in my distraction with these noises

I couldn’t hear my zen.

When I came up for air,

As one must inevitably do,

I saw flashes in the sky.

Uh-oh.

“C’mon,” said my zen.

“You’d better get out of the pool.

There’s a storm coming.”

Then I heard the thunder.

“Thank you,” I said, taking the towel

My zen offered as I stepped from the pool.

The next lightning flash was brighter,

The thunder louder, closer.

“Sorry,” I added while drying off,

“About the screw you.”

Smart Zen

My zen doesn’t think.

It knows.

Creative Director Zen

“Hey!” I said to Trooper

During a recent video-shoot.

(Trooper is the Rusty Pliers Brand Creative Director.

He is responsible for every aspect of Rusty’s look

From book covers to business cards to posters

To web design to google pages to Rusty’s clothes and hairdo

And even what brand of gin 

Rusty passes out holding…)

He’s the real genius behind the patch.

“Hell!” as Rusty would say,

“Trooper thought up the blasted patch!”

Which is such perfect Rusty because 

It should be the truth but it’s a lie.

(I do need the patch.)

Only Rusty would’ve used more curse words.

It’s true about everything else. 

All I do is write the stuff, 

And show up to be

Videoed or photographed.

“In these videos you’re making lately

I’m always looking like an angry old drunk,”

I said to Trooper.

“I’m supposed to look

Like a wise zen master,

Ain’t I?” I asked.

“What are you doing wrong?” I wondered.

I glared at Trooper

While I sipped my third G&T of the morning

And guess what?

I experienced a zen moment.

Hmmm. 

I really was

The Angry,

Old, 

Drunk.

Trooper’s video 

Had shown me 

To myself.

Oh! How terrible  

Is Enlightenment

When it comes!

“Sorry man,” said Trooper.

“Let’s try a few more takes.”

Trooper is very patient with the talent, as he calls me.

I like that about him.

“Maybe we can catch the feeling you’re looking for,”

He suggested. “Before we lose the light.

If not I’ll try to fake it later in the studio.”

I like that about Trooper too.

“Okay! Let’s try another take!

“You ready, Rusty?

“Maybe you could put the drink down 

“And we’ll try one without it.”

“Anything you say, Trooper,” I answered.

At that moment 

I was very thankful

For Trooper and his strong zen.

His strong loving patient zen.

Just who the heck 

Is the zen master around here, anyway?

Me?

Or

Trooper?

“Remember Rusty,” he said bending down behind the video camera,

“Try not to curse too much.

Don’t look into the camera.

Keep it fresh!”

“And be …

In the moment.”

Aha, I thought!

That’s the zen of it!

Trooper, you magnificent bastard!

Thank you 

For showing me

Where my zen was.