More Monday Zen

“Zen Can Do Anything”

My zen and I 

Had a couple of drinks last night.

Oh? 

You didn’t think that zen could drink?

That it was against zen’s religion or something?

Ha Ha! 

Don’t make me laugh.

Zen can do anything!

Anyway, as I was saying,

We had a couple last night,

My zen and I.

Hmmm.

Now that I think about it,

Nothing was achieved.

I missed my dinner.

I spent my wages.

I stepped on the cat’s tail when I arrived home.

And now my head hurts.

“My Camera Helps Me Find My Zen”

My camera helps me find my zen.

I think it’s the way it makes me see the world.

To look upon things without distraction

And allow my eye to fall in love.

That’s the zen of it!

My camera helps me find beauty, too.

To see it right in front of my face

When it was there all the time.

That’s zen at work.

Beauty and zen share many traits.

You could probably name a dozen easily,

So I won’t bother, except to remind you…

That one cannot exist without the other.

“The Zen of Crows”

(Previously published July 20, 2015)

A murder of crows landed in the large oak tree 

That overhangs my home.

That’s what you call a gathering of these large, black birds.

A murder.

Who thought up that name, I wonder?

It is very zen!

Anyway, from beneath the tree 

I watched and listened,

While I drank some tea.

The crows were very noisy and active.

I might even call it confused or chaotic.

They seemed to be without zen.

I put down my tea,

And clapped my hands loudly 

As I rose from my seat.

“Where’s your zen?” I shouted.

The crows took flight

And circled overhead. 

Then as if by mutual consent 

They flew away to the north

Making a beautiful pattern 

Against the clear blue sky.

“Aha,” I said to myself.

“There’s the zen.”

“Keep Your Shiny Side Up!”

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

That is the name of a famous book

I once read a million years ago.

But I didn’t understand it too well.

Maybe it’s my fault 

That I didn’t understand it.

Maybe it’s the author’s.

Who can say?

Understanding doesn’t come easily

To anybody.

But I don’t blame my zen for that.

Who but an imbecile 

Would be stupid enough 

To find fault with their zen?

Not me.

I understand that much.

I like motorcycles.

I have since I was a boy.

I especially like riding them.

It is a very zen-like experience.

The freedom.

The speed.

The chance to empty my mind 

Of all but the road ahead.

The strangely relaxed tension

Of body, mind, and machine.

United as one,

Working in harmony 

To execute a perfect corner,

Or avoid being crushed 

By that eighteen-wheeler!

Yes! It’s quite a thrill

To ride a motorcycle!

And live to tell about it.

I guess, after reading that book, 

That I understand the zen of riding… 

Better than I do the zen of fixing.

But that’s okay.

So long as I don’t 

Confuse the two.

And remember to 

Keep my shiny side up.

Zen!

“The Odds of Zen”

“I don’t have time for zen today.”

Yeah. 

Right.

You may think that statement is true.

But it’s not.

There’s always time for zen.

It only takes a minute.

Sometimes even less.

But it can last you all day.

Maybe even a lifetime.

How do you like those odds?

And it’s free too.

I’m offering it to you now.

You simply have to reach out and take it.

I’m no mathematician 

Or economist.

But I know this much;

Zen offers a great return 

For your investment. 

Five Zen Monday

Fresh Zen

My zen is fresh today.

There’s nothing wrong with yesterday’s zen.

It’s still good.

But that was yesterday.

This is today.

Zen is like food.

You need it everyday.

Even if today you are sated,

And everything’s just ducky,

There is still tomorrow.

That’s the beauty of it!

One needs fresh zen everyday

To nourish you for life’s journey.

See you tomorrow.

The Zen of Crows

A murder of crows landed in the large oak tree 

That overhangs my home.

That’s what you call a gathering of these large black birds.

A murder.

Who thought up that name, I wonder?

It is very zen!

Anyway, from beneath the tree 

I watched and listened,

While I drank some tea.

The crows were very noisy and active.

I might even call it confused or chaotic.

They seemed to be without zen.

I put down my tea,

And I clapped my hands 

As I arose from my seat shouting.

“Where’s your zen?” I shouted.

The crows took flight

And circled overhead. 

Then as if by mutual consent

As one they flew away to the north

Making a beautiful pattern against the clear blue sky.

“Aha,” I said to myself.

“There’s the zen.”

Underwater Zen

I went swimming in the rain today.

Not something one usually does in Florida.

Usually when it rains in Florida,

It pours!

With plenty of lightning too.

Hence no swimming in the rain.

But today was different.

Maybe it’s global warming,

But today it rained with no lightning.

The pool looked inviting,

So in I went!

But before that I stripped down

And I stood in the rain

Getting wet.

Enjoying the experience.

Naked in the rain.

“You could stand to lose a few pounds,” said my zen.

“Really?” I answered.

Screw you 

I thought.

Then I jumped in.

Underwater in the pool

I could hear the rain pattering

Above me at the water’s surface.

As I held my breath

I could hear my blood in my ears,

Pounding through my veins.

But in my distraction with these noises

I couldn’t hear my zen.

When I came up for air,

As one must inevitably do,

I saw flashes in the sky.

Uh-oh.

“C’mon,” said my zen.

“You’d better get out of the pool.

There’s a storm coming.”

Then I heard the thunder.

“Thank you,” I said, taking the towel

My zen offered as I stepped from the pool.

The next lightning flash was brighter,

The thunder louder, closer.

“Sorry,” I added while drying off,

“About the screw you.”

Smart Zen

My zen doesn’t think.

It knows.

Creative Director Zen

“Hey!” I said to Trooper

During a recent video-shoot.

(Trooper is the Rusty Pliers Brand Creative Director.

He is responsible for every aspect of Rusty’s look

From book covers to business cards to posters

To web design to google pages to Rusty’s clothes and hairdo

And even what brand of gin 

Rusty passes out holding…)

He’s the real genius behind the patch.

“Hell!” as Rusty would say,

“Trooper thought up the blasted patch!”

Which is such perfect Rusty because 

It should be the truth but it’s a lie.

(I do need the patch.)

Only Rusty would’ve used more curse words.

It’s true about everything else. 

All I do is write the stuff, 

And show up to be

Videoed or photographed.

“In these videos you’re making lately

I’m always looking like an angry old drunk,”

I said to Trooper.

“I’m supposed to look

Like a wise zen master,

Ain’t I?” I asked.

“What are you doing wrong?” I wondered.

I glared at Trooper

While I sipped my third G&T of the morning

And guess what?

I experienced a zen moment.

Hmmm. 

I really was

The Angry,

Old, 

Drunk.

Trooper’s video 

Had shown me 

To myself.

Oh! How terrible  

Is Enlightenment

When it comes!

“Sorry man,” said Trooper.

“Let’s try a few more takes.”

Trooper is very patient with the talent, as he calls me.

I like that about him.

“Maybe we can catch the feeling you’re looking for,”

He suggested. “Before we lose the light.

If not I’ll try to fake it later in the studio.”

I like that about Trooper too.

“Okay! Let’s try another take!

“You ready, Rusty?

“Maybe you could put the drink down 

“And we’ll try one without it.”

“Anything you say, Trooper,” I answered.

At that moment 

I was very thankful

For Trooper and his strong zen.

His strong loving patient zen.

Just who the heck 

Is the zen master around here, anyway?

Me?

Or

Trooper?

“Remember Rusty,” he said bending down behind the video camera,

“Try not to curse too much.

Don’t look into the camera.

Keep it fresh!”

“And be …

In the moment.”

Aha, I thought!

That’s the zen of it!

Trooper, you magnificent bastard!

Thank you 

For showing me

Where my zen was.