Are You Getting Enough Zen?

Are You Getting Enough Zen?

Excuse me.

I hate to interrupt.

I see you’re busy.

Living life sometimes takes all we’ve got, doesn’t it?

Looks like that’s the case with you right now.

You seem to be coping well.

And that’s all we can hope to do.

Cope well.

But I have a question.

Because I love you.

(Although I know that gives me no special privileges,

This love of mine.)

My question is this:

Are you getting enough zen?

Because zen is important.

I could lend you some if you’re short.

I’ve been doing well lately 

And currently I’ve got plenty.

Not bragging.

Just saying.

Wouldn’t want to piss my zen off by bragging.

You see, my zen does all the work

And I take all the credit.

Remember as you cope 

That zen works that way for you too.

For me and you both.

That’s the beauty of it!

Zen and the Big Bang

My zen rushes out,

Like everything else,

From the big bang when they say things began.

Rushing out into the universe.

A universe that is ever expanding

And has no end.

Big stuff!

My zen was there at the beginning.

And it will be there in the …

Oh, that’s right.

There is no end.

But my zen will still be there,

(Wherever that is)

Nourishing me.

For the essence of me will still exist and require nourishing.

No matter how far the universe expands.

In the meantime

It’s hard to know where I fit

Into all this rushing vastness.

I feel so small and inconsequential.

Hmmm.

So what!

As long as I’m along for the ride,

Rushing into infinity with my zen, 

What should I care?

Arthur’s Zen

When I was a lad.

It seems a thousand centuries ago,

But really it was 1969.

(Although with zen as strong as mine,

I’m not denying the possibility that it could have been a thousand centuries ago

And still be 1969.)

Anyway, when I was a lad

I began my working life

At the bottom of a road construction ditch.

I shoveled the shit that had accumulated there,

From the bottom of the ditch to the top.

Our gang boss was named Arthur.

He was feared by all,

For he could be a violent man

When he wanted something

Or thought he had been wronged.

Which seemed to be often.

It was only years later,

When the concept of zen became more clear to me,

That I realized what a great zen master Arthur was.

He was indifferent to everything.

Hot or cold didn’t matter.

Good or bad didn’t matter.

You or me didn’t matter.

Nothing mattered.

As long as he got his way.

Of course Arthur didn’t realize he was instructing me.

Giving me, for my pains,

Of which he himself caused a few

With a cuff to the ear at the bottom of a shitty ditch

All those years ago,

A lesson in life.

Yes, he didn’t realize he was giving me

An insight into the way things are.

Which is what zen is after all.

He’s been dead a long time,

Arthur has.

I wonder where he is now?

I probably never said thank you

For all the knowledge he gave me.

So from the year 2015,

Arthur,

Wherever you are, 

I thank you!

How Much Zen Is There in a Raindrop?

How Much Zen Is There in a Raindrop?

How much zen is there in a raindrop?

Asked one of my students.

(For I’ve collected a few

From time to time

As I’ve gone along.)

Well? he insisted.

How much?

He’s an insistent little so-and-so,

I’ll say that much for him.

But his zen is pure.

He avoids pornography and doesn’t drink to excess.

He has other good qualities too, of course.

Those just happened to come to mind.

“Hmmm,” I answered.

“Let me think about it.”

So I thought about it.

Every day the insistent student would come round 

And ask about the raindrop.

Come back tomorrow, I always said.

Rain or shine, every day he came.

After a few months he stopped coming every day.

Instead he came every couple of days,

Asking about the raindrop.

Then once a week came he.

Once a fortnight.

Once a month.

His visits became irregular and widely spaced in time.

Then he stopped coming altogether.

He sent me a letter.

(He’d moved out of state.)

How much raindrop zen is there?

Asked he in this letter.

I answered asking for more time to consider.

And so we exchanged letters.

We corresponded thus for a few years.

Exchanging news, sharing our lives.

He got married, started a family, bought a Prius.

Finally, the insistent student, 

After nearly five years of waiting for my answer,

Has given up.

He isn’t so insistent anymore.

His most recent letter did not mention the raindrop.

It spoke of his love for his family and his goals for the future.

How his twin daughters are growing up so quickly!

The family dog had had an operation, too.

But Fido was doing fine now.

It was a good letter,

Written from the heart,

And filled with zen.

Everything is good, he wrote, 

Adding in his final paragraph,

I can’t complain.

Aha, I thought, 

There’s the zen of it!

He was a good student, but

Boy, did he have to learn the hard way!

Live as Your Zen Commands

Life is painful.

On that we all agree

No one made it that way on purpose.

That’s just the way it is.

Full of pain and frustration.

One of the reasons it is painful

Is because we desire too much.

And our desires being unfulfilled we feel pain.

You see?

Simple.

You want it.

You cannot have it.

You are disappointed.

Disappointment hurts.

That’s the zen of it!

So give up your desires!

Don’t be a slave to your longings!

Quit wanting stuff!

We’re destroying our planet with our Narcissistic materialism anyway

And, let’s face it, our greed.

For how much crap does one person need?

When others are doing without?

Or going hungry?

I have an idea.

Maybe we could try living as our zen commands.

Living the way we know to be right.

With kindness towards ourselves and others.

And a calm understanding that sees us through.

Let’s remember that life is crazy!

So don’t worry too much about it.

Laugh at it!

Laugh good and hard. 

And try living with less consumerism.

Because it’s destroying our humanity and our environment. 

Finally, cope as best as you can

With the vicissitudes of this life.

For it won’t last forever.

I didn’t say it would be easy.

It’s not an easy thing to be a zen man.

Or a zen woman.

Millions and millions of us are attempting it.

But believe me.

It’s worth it.

When you now and then succeed.

Zen For Breakfast

Zen For Breakfast

And now for that very zen-like of questions.

Which came first?

The chicken or the egg?

Or should I say

The egg or the chicken,

Just to be fair?

My zen doesn’t care.

Either way is fine.

You see,

With zen, although not strictly necessary,

It helps to be a vegetarian. 

As long as there’s some hot tea

And a little muesli or fruit for breakfast,

With some zen to be found close by,

(In a garden perhaps)

I’m happy.

So who cares about chickens?

Or their eggs?

Forget it!

Still hungry?

Of course you are.

We all are at times.

That’s human nature.

So go ahead.

Help yourself.

Zen will nourish you for the journey ahead.

I say again to help yourself!

No need to go hungry.

Help yourself to all the zen you need.

There’s plenty for everybody!

Oh, and don’t forget.

Please remember to mindfully enjoy 

The banquet of life 

Spread before you.

How Much Zen Does a Squirrel Have?

How much zen 

Does a squirrel have?

A squirrel, for those of you

Not from around here,

(And let’s face it.

How could you all be from around here?

That would be impossible.

Somebody has to be from somewhere else.)

A squirrel is a type of crepuscular

(Look it up.

I had to.)

Rodent.

It rather resembles a large rat, but with a bushy tail.

I hope that helps.

No matter where you’re from,

On this earth or off it,

You probably know a rat when you meet one.

Anyway, about the squirrel.

How much zen does it have?

Does it have any more than a beetle?

Or a whale?

Or me?

Or a rat?

Hmmm.

There is an unlimited amount of zen in the universe.

Of that I am certain.

So I don’t suppose it matters

How much zen a squirrel might have.

I remind you again that there is plenty of zen in this universe!

Plenty for everybody.

So don’t be afraid.

Go ahead.

Use all you want.

The squirrels won’t miss it.

My Zen is All Around Me

My zen is all around me.

It is everywhere and never-ending.

It was there at the beginning.

It’ll be there at the …

Oops! I almost forgot.

No ending. 

It is big yet small.

Shallow yet deep.

Hot yet cold.

Sweet yet tart.

All this and more is my zen.

It is everything.

Yours is too.

Because they are the same thing,

Your zen and mine.

Now that we have recognized in each other our kindred zen,

Making us brothers and sisters,

Let us ponder together.

Hmmmm.

Do you agree that everything within our comprehension, 

Whatever it might be,

Exists within our minds?

That all one’s experiences are stored there?

Whether real or imagined?

That is where everything exists, isn’t it?

Inside the mind of the comprehender?

Okay.

We agree.

It’s simple really.

All things are possible with zen.

But it is difficult

For zen to exist

Within the mind of a numbskull.